Just because I'm not in France yet, doesn't mean I can't write about...

Ohhh la vache! The adventure of moving to France will take more out of me than I ever thought possible.

It seems only yesterday that I was graduating from Miami with my micro degree, hoping, wishing, praying (and crying) that someone, somewhere wanted me. The rejection of not getting into grad school made the thought of venturing home even more scary. What the hell was I going to do with my life?!? Because I had dreamed SO hard about getting my PhD, as well as having wrapped myself in so many subjects and activities while at school, that it seemed my social and intellectual would be stiffled. Imagine my surprise and excitement when I receive The Letter. I remember that day so vividly, because it seemed then that my life had a purpose, for at least nine months. (Hey, it's only a contract.) I also remember it vividly, because it was the day I ran so many extra minutes on my cell phone calling everyone I knew...whoops. It didn't matter though; I was moving to France and not only that, but I had been placed in an academie that was so close to Paris, I could already see the Eiffel Tower from my bedroom window. As time passed throughout the summer and I finally was able to secure a position that could be remotely linked to my studies, I looked forward to receiving mail posts from the French Embassy about my new job and following their "guidelines for a positive experience in France." Their list of five simple steps to becoming an assistant seemed easy to master:
1. Make sure that passport is current. (check)
2. Read the attached document. (check)
3. Research airfare and eventually purchase tickets. (check --> only $900!)
4. Save lots o' money. (in process)
5. Daydream. (what else do you think I'm doing? I talk about it to whoever will listen.)

Sounds easy, non? Well, let me put it this way, it's causing an ongoing war between my heart (the emotional idealist) and my head (the intelligent realist). I was hoping that life would be made simple by rooming with someone I knew (and who could provide cheap rent...I mean, come on, an assistant's salary is not much!!!) At the present time, it seems the only things I have prepared for this trip is my current passport (no waiting here) and my plane ticket (no backing out). And no residence yet (and looking at them online is not easy, especially if there are no photos involved). I'm trying my hardest to be patient and wait for any bit of news that is sent to me. I have even signed up for French sites that assist in co-locations (roommate finder). I can't even find anything close to Creteil (where my job is located), so I'm looking around in Paris. Help, anyone? Finding an apartment in Paris, espeically one that is conservatively priced, is like trying to find the Holy Grail. Maybe it exists, maybe it doesn't?

My heart and my head are trying to agree that everything for this experience has worked out for a reason. I received my letter just after graduation, so I felt like I had direction to my life. I'm going to France during a time when I know that there are friends already living there. I got a SUPER good deal on plane tickets that allow me to come two weeks before school starts and stay about a month after, you know, for some much needed European adventures. People are coordinating vacations and visits, so I know I won't be alone. It's just the money thing and it almost always is... My tiny salary is hardly enough to support my new life and although I know I'm eligible to receive an allocation (French govt aide) for housing, I was hoping to have a bit more to show for it. If I'm meant to find good (and affordable housing), which is totally possible, I will. There are ways to have a comfortable lifestyle and worthwhile experiences that I see for myself in France. I'm not going to lie though, everyday closer to my leaving date causes me to lose a little more sleep. Could it be the overwhelming angst and sadness of leaving or just the numerous list of things to complete before leaving? At this present time, the list includes:
1. Receive my actual contract (I'm waiting....)
2. Go to Chicago to apply for my teaching visa (No one said I had to make any extra trips. What about the saving money step?)
3. Start choosing pictures (and such) to present to students at lycee Hector Berlioz about my life in the US (aka family, friends, pets, etc.)
4. Find a place to live (or at least a roommate.... or if all else fails, a hostel where I can stay for my frist few days in France)
5. Continue to save as much money as humanly possible
6. Get said money exchanged into (even if it's not going to be remotely enough :/) Euros
7. Read anything French I can get my hands on
8. Visit with everyone I know before I leave
9. Pack enough clothes/shoes/whatnot in only two suitcases to support my stay through four different seasons
10. BREATHE

I know it's going it work out, regardless of the degree of comfortability. I don't think that students would be working abroad if it didn't work out. Having good friends/family to confide my fears in, allows both sides (you know, heart and head) to logically present their sides to a sensere person capable of digesting the two and presenting a new, completely logical view that neither side could comprehend. It's all about those shades of grey....

For those of you who take the time to read this blog as it unfolds, please feel free to make comments, especially those in which you tell me how much you love/miss me. In all seriousness though, I wanted to make a blog site that will become completely interactive. A place where I share my life/stories/adventures and you share what you think/wish/etc. If anything, your comments would serve as indicators that you came, you saw, you experienced.